“Have You Ever Had An STD?”
After telling me he wanted to marry me for the umpteenth time, he confessed something he should have told me from the fucking jump.
During an ice cream date in midtown, he turned to me and asked “have you ever had a STD?”
“No, where the hell that come from?”
He replied, “well, I’ve had every STD known to man.”
I immediately flashed back to every time I ate off of his spoon, that time he talked and spit came out of his mouth and landed in mine, that time he sneezed in my car…
My stomach turned.
“Which ones have you had?”
“I have HIV”.
Everything went quiet.
He explained to me that he caught HIV in his teens and the medication he takes cripples the virus’ ability to make copies of itself. As long as he takes his medication, even without a condom, he can’t pass the virus, he said. He told me his first wife of over a decade never contracted the STD from him, but his second wife did.
He told me stories of how his second wife cheated on him and verbally abused him, telling him she didn’t want him. The wife who he told me before was a horrible woman, he gave HIV to. They were only married for 3 years and she caught the virus, but his first wife with whom he was married to for over a decade, never caught it.
Now I thought to myself, “the woman you were married to for over a decade never caught it…. But the woman who treated you like shit, did…. And you say as long as you take your medication, you can’t pass the virus.”
He gave it to her on purpose.
For real, you need to try dating another white guy. Can I tell you my story? I met my husband of 20 years when a white friend invited me to a party to introduce me to a Black ex-Football Player. White friends like to matchmake their single Black friends. Anyway, after the intros, it was obvious that this ex-Football Player was not interested in me at all (he liked a petite blonde blue-eyed girl that came with someone else) so, I politely excused myself and wasked away. However, there was someone at that party who observed the awkward exchange between me and the football player, and their interest was piqued. I did not meet that someone that night. However, a few days after the dinner, a message was left on my voicemail that went as follows, “HI, my name is Tim. I was at a party with you last week. We did not get introduced but, I saw how you dealt with Collin (the ex-Football Player) and liked your style. Here’s my number. Call me sometimes.” I knew the caller was white and it took me more than a month to respond. But, I eventually did call him back. I did not see this man as someone I would date but, he was persistent. We dated for 4 years, got engaged for 2 years and then, got married. We have now been together for 20 years. I won’t say that our being together has not been “trying” at times but, he is good to me and he loves me and our daughter.
If you truly are open to dating a white guy then, try dating another one. There are good and bad men in all races.
The white guy you wrote about in this blog is a sleaze; and when you found out he had HIV and had purposely infected his 2nd wife, you should have ended it there regardless of the money and gifts. Good Luck.
You should to be open and try again thank God he told you about his HIV! But I ask about testing on my first date and papers don’t want to die lol?