I used to take the traditional approach to dating: wait for Mr. Right to approach me, saying and doing all the right things to entertain only him, then BOOM, we’re in a relationship. I have always been a relationship girl, but it wasn’t until now after several failed traditional relationships that I want to try “dating around”, i.e. dating like a man.

I never saw the appeal of dating around.  I’ve always been a “one man at a time” type of girl. I would devote all my time to just him, but when doing that, you don’t really get to choose who you’re going to be with…they choose you! You fall in love by default because he’s the only one you’re spending your time with. He didn’t have to win you over because he already has you!  You don’t get to compare him to other men to see if he’s really worth all your damn time. He needs competition, boo!

Usually, women go on about 5-7 dates with a man and in our own little heads, he’s already “bae”. We talk on the phone with this same guy all day every day and we think we know him. Next, you’re on to the house dates and couch sex stage. GIRLLLL….Make him work! Never go off the way a man makes you feel without confirmation.

Wait until he shows you he’s the one who deserves that good couch loving before you break the arm rest. That can’t be done without dating more than one person at a time. And no, I’m not saying go sleep around with the multiple men you’re dating. That would be foolish (and you should be getting paid for that, Ms. Girl. No tea no shade). Date outside the house, as in movies, dinner, bowling, dancing, casino, and any other couple-y types of outing.

Sex should not be happening during the dating stages. Get to know these men who act as if they want to be a part of your life. Date selfishly and DON’T feel guilty about it.

For a man, it’s natural to date multiple women at one time without feeling like he’s is betraying us. They don’t see the harm in holding auditions for the role of his leading lady. Yet, we women are around here feeling guilty because we’re double-tapping another man’s pic who ain’t “bae”. BUT the gag is you are not in a relationship….yet. I’ve learned that seeing just one guy could make you too clingy to your number 1 guy, but if you’re dating more than one, it’s kind of hard to be worried about guy number 1 when number 4 is in your face right now.

Listen, you spend your time dating one person, then in a month and a half, you find out he ain’t “the one”. He’ll move on to the other chick he cast as your understudy while you are with no one. Get you a couple of them in rotation .When one falls off, you will replace his spot and go on to the next one. Think of it like basketball: you need 5 players on the court at all times. When the point guard gets hurt, you fill his spot with another one. The game goes on and each player on the court is playing to win.

Dating multiple men gives you the chance to see what’s out there, and to choose who you feel is deserving of that relationship title. Don’t give a damn about what society thinks. Hell, society is still mad at the president they picked. You are not a “hoe”, you’re weighing your options. This is the time where you see who’s worthy of getting the box! Men appreciate the shit they have to work for. Make THEM work for you!


  1. Voice of reason here:
    Dating like a man, when you’re not one only leads to confusion. This is only setting up a recipe for disaster. What if you get TWO great guys, and one feels slighted because he can tell that you’re energy isn’t EQUALLY vested in him? Women aren’t made up like men emotionally. There’s a reason why we operate differently…’s because we ARE different. You can’t do what a man does and still be a lady. Just like women who feel like “they know the game” because they have uncles, or brothers, or a lot of guy friends…..They don’t have a clue. Tell will prove this confusing theory wrong. Not trying to be negative. Just heeding a little wisdom.

  2. I totally agree girl! If my relationship doesn’t work out… I’m definitely “dating like a man” the next go ’round!

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