The first night, he blew my phone up all night to get me to go out with him. I was so pissed, I powered the damn phone off. The next morning, I hit him with the “sorry, I fell asleep” text. After I hit him with that lie, he asked could he take me out sometime, and of course your girl took him up on that offer.
He asked if I feel comfortable going out in public with a White man. “Honey, it’s not 1965! Go ahead and make the plans…AND I’M THERE”, I told him.
But I wasn’t comfortable. We live in the Deep South and interracial couples are usually met with mean glares and loud whispers.
What did Dr. Shepherd want with me, anyway? From the looks of it, we had nothing in common.
As most girls, I was afraid to go on the first date with a new man. So as a safety precaution, I did what any girl would do…
Made sure all of my friends were there! Honey, if this was a set up, we would beat the dog shit out of him! It was my transgendered bff’s birthday dinner. Mr. George Clooney was cool with it and gained points for being so open and hanging out with us. Most straight men would be uncomfortable around gay men or transgendered women.
That’s something a straight Black man wouldn’t never do. So, you know, I had to give this man a chance.
THE FIRST DATE…
Our official first date was a few weeks later. It was cool and laid back. We went to an outdoor garden/restaurant called Loflin Yard. Besides being the only Black person there, it was a very nice atmosphere.
I really enjoyed the date for the most part. It was refreshing to meet a man who isn’t trying to “pull up” on you all the damn time. He told me that he’d just divorced his second wife of 3 years and that she was a bitch to him who always tried to outshine him in front of people. The way he painted this lady was something for the books. It made me feel sorry for him.
As we continued to date, there wasn’t a day that went by when he wasn’t by my side. This man would even come and sit in my salon all day just to be with me. He told me he wanted to spoil me so that any man who came after him, would have it hard.
“Other men won’t be able to afford you”, he said.
I didn’t quite understand what that meant, considering I was still working at my salon the whole time he’s “spoiling” me.
I’m not spoiled boo, I’m tired. I’m motherfucking exhausted. And I’m still working.
What was once cute became invasive. This man would pop up at my house and sit outside my salon when I wouldn’t answer the phone. I explained to him that he could not just pop up at my house unless you paid bills there. He responded by asking for my bank account number and set up an automatic deposit of $700 to transfer from his account to mine every month for my rent. I guess he thought that was him paying his way to be able to pop up, but my rent was $1200.00. So, that was just enough to be able to sit outside the gate.
Between the shopping sprees and deposits of course we had to converse. He told me he was in love with me, wanted to marry me, and for me to bear his kids.
Mind you, it’s only been 2 months.
My nigga, slow it the fuck down.
The money he was giving me started to get bigger, and he started doing way more with his hands than I wanted.
Did he think he was buying me?
For real, you need to try dating another white guy. Can I tell you my story? I met my husband of 20 years when a white friend invited me to a party to introduce me to a Black ex-Football Player. White friends like to matchmake their single Black friends. Anyway, after the intros, it was obvious that this ex-Football Player was not interested in me at all (he liked a petite blonde blue-eyed girl that came with someone else) so, I politely excused myself and wasked away. However, there was someone at that party who observed the awkward exchange between me and the football player, and their interest was piqued. I did not meet that someone that night. However, a few days after the dinner, a message was left on my voicemail that went as follows, “HI, my name is Tim. I was at a party with you last week. We did not get introduced but, I saw how you dealt with Collin (the ex-Football Player) and liked your style. Here’s my number. Call me sometimes.” I knew the caller was white and it took me more than a month to respond. But, I eventually did call him back. I did not see this man as someone I would date but, he was persistent. We dated for 4 years, got engaged for 2 years and then, got married. We have now been together for 20 years. I won’t say that our being together has not been “trying” at times but, he is good to me and he loves me and our daughter.
If you truly are open to dating a white guy then, try dating another one. There are good and bad men in all races.
The white guy you wrote about in this blog is a sleaze; and when you found out he had HIV and had purposely infected his 2nd wife, you should have ended it there regardless of the money and gifts. Good Luck.
You should to be open and try again thank God he told you about his HIV! But I ask about testing on my first date and papers don’t want to die lol?